Beautiful (Almost?)

I read once on an Instagram post
“You’re ever so used to your own features that You never know how beautiful you are to a stranger”

Beautiful quote,
I can almost relate to it
I can almost say that I am used to my features
But yes I said almost because
Everyday I almost did not notice the pore that refuses to shrink
I almost didn’t notice the zit that makes my head split
Migraine, I thought 6 months of pills got rid of you
I almost didn’t Google the “Science of Beauty” and discover the beauty in symmetry
It’s bad enough Barbie is the universal standard of beauty, whether White or Nicki Skinned
It’s bad enough photoshop on magazines and billboards tell you that your  flaws are not human but abnormal
It’s bad enough that the population from which husband must come, sees you as undesirable, a pass and not a smash
But science has something else to say about what is beautiful
So I almost didn’t notice my eyes aren’t the same
My lips are rather crooked, adorned by acne scars
My chin rather plump
My cheekbones are invisible

My lower abdomen can’t suck in

My thighs are forever the destination for all I eat

My arms accompany a cry of Hallelujah with trembling
My skin is far too shiny
Oh and that Damn pore that won’t shrink
I almost fell in love with my flaws
Almost felt beautiful
But I cannot hear the strangers compliments
Because I almost silenced my flaws from screaming so harshly at me
I almost shut out the worlds protests against the crime that is my irregularities and deformities

But for heaven sakes
Just Listen to me
Girl, listen to yourself
You have  let tiny holes swallow you
You allowed an inanimate object model life for you, she ain’t even life size
I’ve let Street rats into the shoes they can never fill, they can never appreciate
You don’t let rats into your shoes they do not know what it’s for
I’ve let the voice that Questions my God to instruct me,
The irony

Hello Stranger, thank you for seeing what I could not see
For what they term “Undesirable” to them is really “Unattainable”…. To them
Not me

I know I’m beautiful definitely, but it feels so real when you say it
I need you to tell me

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6 thoughts on “Beautiful (Almost?)

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